Murphy's Laws
by Yami Flo
Summary: A collection of ficlets inspired by various Murphy's laws of love, war and technology, to name some.
1. Chapter 1

Character(s)/Pairing(s): Jazz, Ironhide, Perceptor

Warnings: Gen fic, some hinted slash pairings in some chapters.

Summary: A collection of ficlets inspired by various Murphy's laws of love, war and technology, to name some.

Notes: An old series of ficlets I wrote around 2008-2009, already posted on my AO3 account. See the link in my profile for more info and fics.

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**Murphy's Laws**

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**1. Murphy's Law of Technology: The most ominous phrase in science: "_Uh_-oh..."**

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None of them knew exactly why they chose to pass in front of the lab. If someone asked them later, they would say they just hadn't paid attention to where they were going because they were too enthralled in their conversation.

But once they looked around and realized exactly where they were, they heard the worst words to be uttered at that moment. "Uh-oh..."

The two mechs looked at each others, suddenly very fearful. Especially when they heard: "I'm sure it shouldn't be that color... Now, now; what could possibly be wrong?"

Ironhide and Jazz looked at each other again before starting to run until they reached the other end of the hallway.

"You know, at first, I thought it was our dear engineer but... Unless I'm mistaken, that wasn't Wheeljack," said quietly Jazz, still looking at the lab's open door.

"No, it was Perceptor," answered Ironhide with a short nod. "Thank Primus, Wheeljack isn't here today. Which doesn't mean we shouldn't let everyone know they have to leave the Ark for their own safety."

Jazz frowned. "Don't you think you're going a bit too far here? That can't be _that_ dangerous. I mean, it's _Perceptor_. Next to Wheeljack, he's harmless."

Ironhide looked at him in disbelief. "Jazz, think for a moment; how many time have you heard Perceptor say 'uh-oh'? Personally, I never did, and I don't intend to be around to know exactly why he said 'uh-oh'. But if you want to look, then go. It's your funeral."

The saboteur smiled nervously. "On second thought, I think I'm going to stick with you..."

"Good choice," said Ironhide, nodding.

"Should we call Inferno and Ratchet right now to stop the fire and repair the injured?"

"You do that. Me, I'll tell Red Alert to start evacuating the Ark in the next ten minutes," answered the red mech.


	2. Chapter 2

Character(s)/Pairing(s): Dinobots, Gears

Warnings: Gen fic, some hinted slash pairings in some chapters.

Summary: A collection of ficlets inspired by various Murphy's laws of love, war and technology, to name some.

Notes: An old series of ficlets I wrote around 2008-2009, already posted on my AO3 account. See the link in my profile for more info and fics.

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**Murphy's Laws**

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**2. Murphy's Law of War: You have two mortal enemies in combat, the opposing side and your own rear services...**

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He was going to die. He just knew it. If Decepticons didn't kill him, _they_ would.

Why, oh why did Prime choose _them_ to form the rear of the convoy? Why? And why did he had to be assigned there as well? Not that he wanted to be in the front; the Twins were there, and they weren't very kind to the Minibots.

But the Twins seemed a better choice each passing second, especially next to _these_ mechs. Not that he hated them or anything. When they listened, they could be... well... nice enough. But right now, as a battle was nearing, he wished he could get away from them, or at least ignore them.

If only they weren't trying to ease his uneasiness...

"You punny Autobot no worry; we Dinobots will be careful," said the thunderous voice of Grimlock.

"We not going to step on you by mistake," added the voice of Slag, next to his leader.

Did that mean they would step on him anyway, but with intend instead? He glanced at the enormous mechs and felt his Spark skip a beat when he saw the grins adorning the Dinobots' faces.

Gears moaned and send a quick prayer to Primus. If he was lucky, his death would be mostly painless...

Too bad for him he was hardly ever lucky...


	3. Chapter 3

Character(s)/Pairing(s): Constructicons

Warnings: Gen fic, some hinted slash pairings in some chapters.

Summary: A collection of ficlets inspired by various Murphy's laws of love, war and technology, to name some.

Notes: An old series of ficlets I wrote around 2008-2009, already posted on my AO3 account. See the link in my profile for more info and fics.

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**Murphy's Laws**

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**3. Murphy's Law of EMT: You can't cure stupid.**

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Hook was pacing, hands crossed behind his back. The Constructicon's surgeon wasn't happy and quite frankly, none of his gestalt brothers could really blame him.

"Of course, Starscream had to be cheeky once again while Megatron is in one of his worst moods. And of course, Megatron had to set his fragging fusion cannon at the highest level. Sure, Starscream needed to be reminded his place but who had to repair that sorry excuse of a mech? Us! And especially me! Do you think it's fair?"

The other Constructicons shook their head. It was an habit whenever Hook began a rant on anything or anyone. They just nodded or said 'yes' when needed and continued working on whatever they wanted. Hook wasn't paying attention to them anyway. He never did.

"Then the more stupid of his wing mates had to try to push Dead End down the stairs, only to be discovered by the other Stunticons and be beaten to scrap by them in retribution. Fragger was lucky to be alive, let me tell you! And then, those two stupid cassettes had to play that silly trick with the 'bubble gum' on Astrotrain, hadn't they? Do they know how hard it is to remove that... stuff from delicate circuits? Do they even care?

"That's it! I supported those maniacs for far too long! Next thing we'll be working on will be a cure for stupidity!"

Bonecrusher snickered. Long Haul groaned. Scavenger looked at Scrapper. "Should we tell him it's impossible?"

The Constructicons' leader dismissed his fellow Decepticons' concerns. "Let him rant. With some luck, he will forget everything about this the moment we're called to form Devastator. Besides, it will only be the fourth time in two orns he's done this."

"And if he doesn't stop this time?" asked Long Haul, who was looking at the surgeon with boredom. As fun as it was sometimes, watching Hook for too long was just boring.

"Than be ready to assist him," answered Scrapper.

"But it's impossible to cure..." started to whine Scavenger once more.

Scrapper shrugged, watching the surgeon as he began to mumbled incoherently. "Who cares as long as he's occupied and off our backs?"


	4. Chapter 4

Character(s)/Pairing(s): Thundercracker, Skywarp

Warnings: Gen fic, some hinted slash pairings in some chapters.

Summary: A collection of ficlets inspired by various Murphy's laws of love, war and technology, to name some.

Notes: An old series of ficlets I wrote around 2008-2009, already posted on my AO3 account. See the link in my profile for more info and fics.

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**Murphy's Laws**

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**4. Murphy's Law of War: C-4 can make a dull day fun...**

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Thundercracker stood in front of his (best) friend, arms crossed over his chest, face full of disbelief.

"C-4? You actually used that primitive explosive? Skywarp, I knew you were bored, but still..."

"Hey, you never made a big deal out of it before." The black jet pouted. "In fact, you laughed with me the last time!"

"Skywarp, there is a big difference between using C-4 on Autobots and using C-4 on random part of _our base_!"

"But I was bored," whined Skywarp. "Beside, Scrapper and co can easily repair everything."

"That's hardly an excuse," groaned his friend. "And sadly, I'm afraid you just angered the wrong people. And I'm not talking about Megatron and Starscream who, as you may guess, aren't happy with the culprit."

"Huh?" was the very intelligent answer of the other jet.

Thundercracker shook his head with sadness. "You know the Constructicons are going to murder you in a very painful and messy way and probably not in your sleep since they will probably want to make an example out of you?"

Skywarp grinned madly. "They will have to know it was me first. Rumble and Frenzy are suspects too. And Swindle, since he's usually the one who gets this stuff onto the base anyway."

"Warp," sighed the blue jet. "I hate asking you this but... did you shut down the cameras before you used the explosives?"

Skywarp's grin faltered. "Ah... Well... I... I think I will go now."

"Right. You do that," his friend agreed, nodding. "And I'll try to calm them down before they corner you somewhere to dismantle your chassis."


	5. Chapter 5

Character(s)/Pairing(s): Jazz/Prowl

Warnings: Gen fic, some hinted slash pairings in some chapters.

Summary: A collection of ficlets inspired by various Murphy's laws of love, war and technology, to name some.

Notes: An old series of ficlets I wrote around 2008-2009, already posted on my AO3 account. See the link in my profile for more info and fics.

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**Murphy's Laws**

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**5. Murphy's Law of love: Never Say No.**

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One fundamental law in falling in love is to never say 'no' to the one you're in love with. Because you just know it's going to be trouble.

At first, there was what the humans referred to as the 'puppy look', with quivering lips. He had managed to hold his position by quickly reading the reports Red Alert had given him.

Then, he tried the 'glare', and he had shivered. Oh, he disliked that look, and he really wanted to erase that from the face of his love; but once again, he managed to escape, this time by giving chase to the twins after they had booby trapped his office door.

And finally, there was the worst. He had been more or less 'sentenced to the couch', his lover having changed the password which granted access to their shared quarters and locked them up.

And he was now looking at him with a neutral face, arm crossed over his chest, waiting for his answer.

Had he a choice anymore? Not really.

Sighing, Prowl looked at Jazz.

"Yes, I will take a few days off next week so we can go together to that concert. Happy now?"

"More than you can imagine," answered his lover before kissing him.

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**END**


End file.
